PizzasWithBone's Apology

PizzasWithBone's Apology is a literary work forged by erjan101, an advocate for the pirate state of Deathwatch and its leader, PizzasWithBone. It was written to be presented as PizzasWithBone's own earnest apology for his raiding (see: Deathwatch) as PizzasWithBone was unable to muster the sincerity and regret (or even the appearance thereof) to write a false apology note for himself. The apology's creation was aimed at securing PizzasWithBone's release from indefinite imprisonment in Montrose's Fort Graham Prison. (see: Brayton Jail).

Content

The full text of the apology is below:

"Okay, I admit it. I am not totally innocent. I know you cannot trust me but it is very boring being stuck in your prison, and I will be very grateful if you let me out. I promise to not directly attack you/screw around the world but I want to just build a barn and stuff. Please please please let me out o great montrosian leader. It's not fun being stuck in a minecraft prison and i realize that you've won the fight, I also can't get a way out in anyway, but having a player in your server who cannot play at all for ever unless someone like yourself brings it out isn't cool cause i actually am genuinely interested in the server. I actually understand now why i am not innocent... its because I was thinking things from my perspective and not logically, I thought I was right in all of this but /f enemy a person is a genuine cause of attack. Attacking rhett was a bad idea but I did feel guilty and returned the stuff I got from him (30 minutes before you guys attacked my place) and I am serious that I didnt combat log but if you guys think I did then it does make a lot of sense, but my computer did a oopsie and I do have video of the server not being able to be connected to. Please o grand sire, duguntho montrose. I will even pay diamonds and stuff, please let me out!!!!"

Response

Immediately, some Montrosian citizens petitioned for PizzasWithBone's release, including Lucavario, who even went as far as to say Header FlyingGMM's continued detention of PizzasWithBone showed a lack of respect for Montrose's democratic system. FlyingGMM was less trusting of the apology, as was GoatWhisperer his co-conspirator in the trapping of the Dread Pirate in the first place. However, as a result of intense international and domestic pressure, as well as a perceived genuinity from PizzasWithBone, FlyingGMM and the rest of the server community were won over and released PizzasWithBone.

Within 24 hours post-release, several raids were found to have been done all over the map, including the looting of everything owned by Voidnest, the burning of Cassti’s house and wholesale slaughter of her pets and livestock, the partial burning of two buildings in HUM, the burning of two buildings in Goomlandia, the partial damage of a stable in Bagelonia, and arson of many of the wooden buildings in Tsarevets. It was determined to be Pizzas' doing, and he was banned. More reading can be found under Deathwatch.

PizzasWithBone, erjan101, and carpo_diem maintain that FlyingGMM conducted these raids to frame him and get him banned from the server (despite FlyingGMM not being present at the time the raids were conducted, nor standing anything to gain from PizzasWithBone's ban.)

In retrospect, FlyingGMM and GoatWhisperer admit that the word-salad writing style is quite clearly that of erjan101, and marvel that they didn't realize it was his writing until he confessed it to them weeks after Pizzas' ban.