A Consular Bid

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A Consular Bid was a speech given on 07/09/2019 to the Parliament of the Sylvian Union by then-Consul GoatWhisperer upon his resignation from the post. Largely a popular leader, GoatWhisperer did not resign in disgrace, but rather wanted to make room for new voices among Sylvian leadership. Upon departing from the Consulship, he returned to his home state of HUM, serving once again as Chairman until the dissolution of the Union years later.

Full Text


Office of the Sylvian Consul

Federal Province, Sylvian Union

My esteemed constituents and fellow Sylvians, it is with gratitude that I look upon all I have experienced whilst granted this office by the Parliament which represents you. While Consul, I have been lucky enough to play a role alongside you as we faced down Goomnest and oversaw their dissolution from a behemoth rivaling our own might to a fractured slew of minor states. We made a lifelong ally out of the wonderful Toe GANG with diplomatic visits, the very Toe Tyrants who would go on to begin the wave of secessions from Goomnest. We saw the Banastairian crisis solved with minimal upset and with the war that many of us expected avoided in full due to equal parts diplomatic tact, Sylvian morality, and unyielding resolve. We begun the work of creating a marvelous Federal city to demonstrate our opulence. We enacted new Commissionerships which set out across our great Union to survey the land, ensure our martial readiness reached unprecedented heights, and connect the Union from North to South with infrastructure. We innovated militarily with terrible weapons and strategies at our disposal. We rose an entire city out of the virgin earth in Banastair and loosened its restraints to allow it to soar. We finally answered the Bagelonian Question with a resounding "yes", and continue to offer a beacon of shining hope to developing states as the Sylvian Union protects them under our nurturing wing.

I wish not to gloat on any achievements accomplished during my tenure as Consul-- none of them would be possible without the tireless efforts of the Commissioners and Viceroys who actually put into practice the ideas put forth both by myself and by Parliament. I can barely even take credit for the ideas which I did pitch, as they are usually refined by the technical experts on the floor of Parliament before being put into action, speaking to Sylvian ingenuity. The beauty of the Sylvian Union lies not in any individual, but in the Sylvian government’s willingness to let each office do what it does best and respect the rule of law.

I see my time serving as Consul drawing to a close. This is not due to any kind of grievance of myself against the Sylvian Union, nor vice versa, but simply that any good executive must know when the proper time is to allow the Sylvians a fresh breath of new ideas. With a number of threats safely quelled and with more obstacles yet looming on the horizon, I believe now is a most opportune time to pass the torch to a fresh face. It is, then, with not a heavy heart but an excited, hopeful one that I am prepared to step down as Consul of this Sylvian Union upon selection of a proper replacement.

Note the term proper! It is important that the Consul selected for the foreseeable future be who the Sylvian people want to be the Sylvian guiding hand, the Sylvian policymaker for the next era, the first and last line of diplomacy between reconciliation and war, the Sylvian face to the greater world. Willing to hold our Union to the highest integrity. Levelheaded enough for diplomacy, but not weak willed enough to allow the Union to be trampled upon.

As for myself, I intend to retire to my homeland and focus on commercial enterprise. This passion was my original one, and it is one I wish to pursue further. I intend to remain active as a delegate, in any Federal commissionership duties I am selected for, and as an interpreter of Charter where necessary and called upon, but simply believe it is time to turn the reins over to a fresh leader.

Brothers and sisters of this land, let us lay out what philosophies exist within different minds concerning the future policy of Sylvia at a turning point in our national focusses. Allow for much discussion, and allow the Sylvian delegates to finally make the most informed decision. Sylvians: take your time, deliberate, and make a sound, lasting choice-- Sylvia has no shortage of brilliant and capable minds, and I have no doubt any choice between them would be a difficult one. I thank this Union for the opportunity to be in your service.  

Hail Sylvia.


Consul of the Sylvian Union