The Monkey Way
Since the beginning of time, the most superior being on this planet has been the monkey. Even today, evolved monkeys known as humans roam the planet, thinking they are the greatest being to ever live. This is as dangerous though process, and in order for humans to prosper, we must attempt to return the ways of our monkey ancestors. Deep inside, we are primates; we cannot ignore this fact. By following the ways of the monkey, we can achieve world peace and end all suffering. Humans who follow the way of the monkey will inevitably achieve great happiness in life.
Unfortunately, monkeys and most other primates have gone extinct. Humans are the last primates left. We must preserve and follow the monkey way in order to honor our ancestors.
The monkey way consists of five fundamental principles.
I. Believe in a higher being. The name you use to refer to this being is irrelevant, as it can take infinite forms.
II. Protection of the auspicious figures. These include Pandas, Monkeys, Dolphins, and Ocelots. Murder of any of these animals is prohibited.
III. Respect all monkeys. This includes humans, orangutans, gorillas, and any other primates.
IV. Do not kill, harm, steal, or lie without proper justification. Avoid unnecessary war and violence so that the human race is not at risk of extinction.
V. Be tolerant of other faiths and beliefs; do not attempt to convert people against their will.